The First Cut Is The Deepest
by Chaos of Hearts
Summary: Blue finds herself listening to a song and contemplating where she should go from here. Hope it works together for you as well as it does for me.


My second songfic and my first with Wolf's Rain. I don't own the song and I don't own Wolf's Rain.****

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**The First Cut Is The Deepest**

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****_I would have given you all of my heart/_

__The words pouring from the near by radio tug at me. So true, I can hardly stand it. I would give you all my heart but.... 

_But there's someone who's torn it apart/_

__I'm only half what you are. Thanks to my other half, I had a life I enjoyed. Only....only now that's all gone. And my heart's in pieces.... 

_And he's taken just all that I have/_

along with the collar that used to tie me to him. But you already knew that didn't you? After all.... 

_But if you want I'll try to love again/_

I look down at the collar in my hand. Soft, creamy leather set with silver and turquoise. Where could you have gotten something like this?   
_  
Baby, I'll try to love again, but I know...../_

__You probably stole it, just for me. With Pops everything was about finding the wolves. But I didn't think..... 

_The first cut is the deepest/ Baby I know/_

__I never thought I'd find a wolf like you. One that didn't care what I'd done. I'd even got your friends shot or almost shot. So how is it...... 

_The first cut is the deepest/ _

__how is it you could forgive me? Everything I've done, all the wolves I've gotten killed.... 

_But when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed/_

__none of that mattered. What mattered to you, was me. Your friends say you're always after every girl you see. They told me you always get dumped, and they seem to expect I'll do just that. 

_When it comes to lovin' me, he's worse..../_

I probably should. But no one's ever.....I never thought anyone would give me a second chance. Not any wolves that is. And now that I've run away from Pops, humans see me as on your side. 

_I still want you by my side/_

I'm not really sure who's side I want to be on. Still, I am sure who's side I want to be at. Yours. It would be great if I could walk between you and Pops, but I know that's not possible. So I have to choose.... 

_Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried/_

__you gave me what I needed, when I needed it most. A second chance, a helping hand. You pulled me out of my misery, made me laugh, all without thinking twice. 

_And I'm sure gonna give you a try/_

__My choice, Hige, is you. If Pops is going to keep hunting wolves, then he can just hunt me too. 

_If you want I'll try to love again/_

Sure, I loved the guy. But I'm not really sure what to think anymore. So I'm going to go with you for awhile. Hopefully, my head will clear and I'll be able to think straight again. 

_Baby I'll try to love again, but I know/_

__He left. I was hurt and bleeding. He'd seen Toboe and blamed you all for what happened. He left despite my condition. Just to go after you because of a stupid mistake. 

_The first cut is the deepest/ Baby I know/_

__And then, when you put yourself between me and those idiots, the first day we met....__

_The first cut is the deepest/_

__I guess that's when I fell for you. You didn't have to do that for me. But you did. __

_But when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed/_

__After that your friends didn't want anything to do with me. I can understand why, but..... 

_But when it comes to lovin' me, he's worse.../_

when they tried to tell you what I'd done, you wouldn't listen. 

_I still want you by my side/_

Not to mention you followed me when I left, despite their protests. 

_Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried/_

__Standing on that bridge, talking to you, I felt kinda peaceful. It was a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time and I liked it. So that's why... 

_But I'm sure gonna give you a try/_

__that's why I jumped after you. The shot fired, you jumped, turned, and asked me to come with you. 

_Cuz if you want I'll try to love again/_

__And at that moment, nothing else mattered. All I wanted, was to be with you. Suddenly my heart didn't feel like it was in quite so many pieces. 

_Baby, I'll try to love again but I know/_

After I left Pops, I wasn't sure what was going to happen to me. Now I know, at least for a while. 

_The first cut is the deepest/ Baby I know_

"Hey." I turn, and you're behind me. "What are you thinkin' about?" I smile, still listening to the last of the song. 

_The first cut is the deepest/_

__The first cut's the deepest all right, when you use a real knife that is. I think what I felt around Pops was more of a sense of duty than love. But this.... 

_When it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed/_

__"Just making my decision, that's all." You seem slightly confused, "your decision?" "To stay with you silly." 

_When it comes to lovin' me, he's worse/_

__You smile and a chill runs up my spine. I know the answer, but still, why can't you smile like that all the time, if only just for me? 

_The first cut is the deepest/ Baby I know/_

__"Hige?" "Yeah?" I glance down at the leather collar in my hand. "Will you, put it on for me?" 

_The first cut is the deepest/_

Your hands are warm on my neck as you fasten the collar. It's a bit too large in this form, but it should fit perfectly when I'm as I should be, so how did you know? 

_Try to love again..../_

__"Thank you Hige." You smile again, "you're welcome." But it's not the collar I'm thanking you for. It's for somehow understanding, just when I need you to. And for putting my heart back together, one piece at a time, instead of ripping it to shreds like everyone else in this life. Thank you..... 

_Chaos: _Hi! I don't know if the song and the story really go together that well, but I came up with this idea listening to the song and it plays out for me. Whether it fits great or not, I hope you like it. Til next time, later!


End file.
